Cochlear Implant Surgery Round Two

Posted April 27, 2017 by Hillary in cochlear ear Implant / 0 Comments

Cochlear Ear Implant Round Two

On April 17, 2017, I had my second implant surgery. I had had one the year before, and it was a huge success. The thought of hearing out of BOTH my ears excited me to no end, but there was one caveat. Surgery. I am not gonna lie the surgery hurts like a mofo. After some talks with trusted friends, I scheduled the surgery and then tried to put it out of my head. The days leading up to surgery I  completely fell off the Weight Watchers band wagon. I stopped tracking and was eating Ben and Jerry’s like it was going out of business. I finally had to admit to myself….I was fucking terrified. I know that I tend to eat my feelings and I am working on it but the days leading up to surgery was not good. I couldn’t focus on my writing, and I couldn’t focus on reading, and it was just a haze of pure terror.

I got to the hospital and admitted that yes I was about to shit my pants and they gave me a shot in my iv of Ativan. That is some real good shit right there. I have never felt so relaxed in my life. I am gonna have to ask my Shrink to give me some more of that. #kiddingnotkidding

 

So.. The couple hours I spent waiting for surgery was in a blissed out state. I was all like even Ekart Tolle couldn’t have been this blissed out. They wheeled me into surgery, and next thing I know I am breathing in what I thought was oxygen, but the interpreter failed to mention that it was the anesthesia gas and the next thing I know I am struggling to get awake and I screamed out I WASNT READY!

 

Then the puking started…It started while I was still under so when I woke up I was puking up bile and dry heaving until I thought my ribs would crack into a million tiny parts.

 

It seemed that the puking would never end. The nurse was holding my head to the side while sucking puke out of my throat and mouth while the American Sign Language interpreter stood by looking mildly horrified.

 

And you know what.. I still wasn’t ready… It is like the story of my life.. shit happens, and I am all like waaaaiiiiit I wasn’t ready. There is a lesson in this though. That is..you will NEVER be ready. You just gotta take a deep breath go under, and fucking do it.

Write that essay …go on that trip….write that book… Pop some Ativan and get out there and LIVE. Now I sound like a mix of Tony Robbins and Gary Vee…Click To Tweet

 

Then I was STARVING, so I asked for cookies, and some diet coke and my brain was too muddled to understand that because of all the puking I had done that I couldn’t have anything to drink or eat. I could see the ASL interpreter signing it, but I still kept saying that I want my damn cookies. Finally, the nurse came back with one of those itty bitty 100 calories packs that just make me mad with how itty bitty they are. I mean seriously who the hell came up with the idea of 100 calorie packs? If I want a cookie, I want a real fucking 5 point cookie. I will just count the points and move on. I don’t want three bites of a pretend cookie.

 

So there I was an extremely sick, pissed off post surgery patient. It was a sight to behold. I think part of the problem was in my HEAD I knew what I was saying, but later my mom told me that it looked like I was manically pinwheeling my arms and croaking out cookies I want my damn cookies!

 

To say that I did not react well to anesthesia last week would be putting it mildly. I later told friends that the anthesis woman did a piss poor job this year as last year I had no issues. It was harder to wake up this year too. I suspect that they almost gassed me to death, but mom says I just imagine things, but the truth was the experience with the anthesis was shitty compared to last year. So now if I have to have surgery and they asked me if I ever had any problems I can say yes. Heh.

 

The actual putting the implant in place went great.  The Dr said there were no problems with that part. Last year I was out for three weeks, but here I am a week after surgery ready to get back in business. I am working on creating a new writing website. Nothing is on there yet, but I hope to have it up and running by Monday.

 

I get the processor  (the outside part) next week, and I am excited to be able to hear well out of both ears. I have never been able to do that. I look forward to many more Skype dates with those of you who I had the pleasure to get to know.

 

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Sunday Salon/Post

Posted April 23, 2017 by Hillary in Book Reviews / 0 Comments

I am baccck!!! How many of you missed me? I had my second CI surgery, and it was just as rough as the first. I am glad I only have two ears. I don’t think I could go through more surgeries. In between the dizzy spells and all that fun stuff I have been reading. I think the first quarter reading slump is over. Yay! It worries me when a reading slump goes on and on like that.Do I start to have an exceptional crisis like..AM I REALLY A READER? WHAT IF I NEVER READ AGAIN? It turns out that I was just bored and needed something to jump start my brain and creative juices. I wouldn’t recommend brain surgery to anyone, but it has seemed to have worked for me. I have been a reading fiend ever since I got back from the hospital. Maybe the do flipe the on switch to my brain while they were working in there. So far this year I have felt like I have been operating with the switched turned to off. Ever since last week though I had some crazy good ideas and had been reading a shit ton. Again I wouldn’t recommend head surgery to bust out of the doldrums but if it works…

 

As a gift for making it through surgery, I gifted myself a book of the month book club book. I choose Start Up since I love satire especially Satire that laughs at different office stuff. Last year I was freaking out. This year, I am not sure what they gave me in my iv, but damn that was good stuff. I instantly felt relaxed as all get out and was all like you when is the party starting? Ok, I lie. I wasn’t THAT relaxed, but it was still a far cry from the near total freak out I had the year before. So I was like I will just join in a Book of the Month Club. I have seen Modern Mrs. Darcy talk about it and anything she likes I am game for a cause you know that lady has great taste.

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Five books I thought I would hate but didnt

Posted April 20, 2017 by Hillary in bookish life style / 0 Comments

Here are 5 books That I thought I would hate but ended up loving them. Click Through to see what they are.
The Desire Map

I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS ONE in one of the business groups that I am in on Facebook. People were singing the praises of Danielle Laporte, and I read the description on Amazon and was all like bullshit. But for some reason, I bought it and read it, and now I LOVE that woman. I have read both her books multiple times I have her planner, and I buy her candles. I am obsessed.
A New Earth

iI forgot where I heard about this book, but it sparked my interest, so I got it from the library. My first read through I was like this dude is fucking nuts. But he has a style of writing that just gets under you skin, and you can’t let go, so I needed up reading it like three times and then…..It all made sense. I had to return the library copy so I bought my own and now I am one of those woo-woo people who is all like we must evolve the collective conciseness. I started meditating with headspace, and yes my life has changed for the better ok. If you DO read this book, you gotta read it more than once to really”get it.”
American Housewife

I must admit that it was the name that put me off at first. Then I heard that it got dark and twisted fast and we all know how much I love dark and twisted. I read it and fell in love with i. I know it got mixed reviews on book blogs but I firmly in the camp of LOVED IT!
Lumberjanes

Lumberjanes was the first comic that I ever read as an adult, and it paved the way for me to become a comic freak. At first, I thought that comics were for freaks and little kids then I read this one and fell in love. Now I can tell you what comic is set in what universe and I read a LOT of comics now. I even went to a comic shop and started a pull list.
Getting Things Done

I read this for the first time in Grad School.I was a perpetual mess at the time trying to handle all that Grad school was throwing at me. I was forever forgetting meetings and appointments and even classes. Then a professor handed me this book and told me to read, and I was like, really a book on the organization? Hahahaha then I read it like two times in one weekend, and it forever changed my life.

 

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

I Improved My Runs In Two Months

Posted April 18, 2017 by Hillary in Weight Watchers / 1 Comment

How I Improved My Runs In Two months.. Click through to read how I drastically improved my running time.

Before Christmas, I collapsed from exhaustion. Then my hold for the Sleep Revolution came in at the library like the universe was telling me, Girl, you need TO SLEEP! After reading that book, I have become slightly obsessed with a good night sleep. I used to think a “good” night meant 6 hours till I got to the part where pro athletes slept 10 to 12 hours! I am far and never will be a pro athlete, but I have been working out, and like anyone that takes it even a bit seriously, I like to see improvements. I thought well why not aim for ten hours a night?

You would think that sleep would come easily, but you be wrong. I apparently had hard wire myself to NOT sleep until my body shut itself down. I mainlined caffeine. My anxiety was sky high, and my runs on the treadmill seemed to have plateaued at an embarrassing 4.0. This may speak to my vanity but my running a 4.0 which is sloooooow was getting embarrassing.I saw one lady running a 9.0 for a solid hour, and here I was just peddling along at 4.0, so I decided to take some advice out of the pro athletes book and clean up my diet and work on getting 10 hours sleep a night. At first, it was so bad, I begged my Dr for some Ambien and that stuff WORKS, but you feel groggy all the next day with it. Plus hello side effects. So I worked on natural ways to get sleep.  First of all, I remind myself I was doing this for my health and to improve my performance in the gym. I did more research, and I found lots of info which can be summed up in this photo

I knew that I needed sleep to be able to increase my runs and therefore the efficacy of my workouts so that I could get in shape and lose weight after (I hoped). Running also helps my anxiety and depression, so it was very beneficial for me to make the best of them.

After failing to sleep more than 5 hours for a few nights in a row, I made an appointment with my Dr and left with a bottle of Ambien. That first night of real sleep in more than a year was blissful, but I also knew I needed to develop some good sleep hygiene. I used to smoke a pack a day and weighed 315 pounds so you can imagine where I was starting from. I talked to a few friends, and they suggested that I try Lavender essential oil. I had my doubts but I bought some, and when it arrived plugged in the diffuser and dumped all that it would take and what do you know it worked! I knew my body had to recover from all of the abuses that I had put it through, so I did not expect my body to be rested all in one night. I also decided to ease back on my workouts until I was all caught up on sleep. It seemed counterintuitive at the time, but everyone was telling me that is what I should do so I did. Slowly I began to feel better.

I started also taking hot baths and rubbing lavender oil with coconut oil on me. I also bought me a subscription to Brain.Fm and listened to their sleeping track. I put in on for two hours, and it worked. One thing that I wish that I had changed beforehand but that my stubborn self-held out on was keeping my bedroom cool. I thought I was the kind of person that liked it nice and warm, but I found that after adjusting my bedroom temperature I slept better!

After about a month I felt like I was healing in the exhaustion department. I had more energy. I had better appetite control, and so I decided to try running as fast and as long as I could again. After about three weeks I got the surprise of my life. I could run at  6.0 for 20 minutes! I was shocked. I mean I had struggled with my running for MONTHS, and yet after six weeks of properly sleeping, i was able to run faster longer.

Sleep has many benefits. It seems that here in the USA we take pride in saying how tired we are as if it is a badge of honor.  I used to be te same way, but now I make sure to get my 10 hours of sleep in a night. I will never again try and push myself to the limits of physical exhaustion. It is just not worth it. I am also cosigning weight faster, and my Dr said my blood pressure and everything is now in the healthy range.

A bonus is that I am more productive! I used to think it took me ages to type out an article and that I had adult ADHD when in reality I was just exhausted. I now can get more things done in lesser time than ever before. It has been almost six months since I was in the Dr office and they told me I was suffering from exhaustion. At first, I was embarrassed. I mean we live in a culture where one prides our self to keep going and going and going. We are all paying a terrible price by believing this. It hurts our waistline, our productivity and yes even our workouts. So many times I hear people in the gym talk about how they push and push, but they seem to be regressing. I am always there to tell them my story and that once I started getting enough sleep, everything improved.

 

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Book Review: The Cozy Life: Rediscover the Joy of the Simple Things Through the Danish Concept of Hygge by Pia Edberg

Posted April 14, 2017 by Hillary in Book Reviews / 0 Comments

Hygge is the best. Come read on how to hygge with the best of them.
Book Review: The Cozy Life: Rediscover the Joy of the Simple Things Through the Danish Concept of Hygge by Pia EdbergThe Cozy Life: Rediscover the Joy of the Simple Things Through the Danish Concept of Hygge by Pia Edberg
on January 1st 1970
Goodreads
five-stars

In today’s world, we’re constantly rushing from one thing to the next and are struggling with information overload. We’re more disconnected from ourselves and our loved ones than ever before. Rediscover the joy of the simple things through the Danish concept of Hygge in The Cozy Life. This book will inspire you to slow down and enjoy life’s cozy moments!

I meant to read this book in the depths of winter, but I had the longest reading slump. It is over now thank goodness, but for a while there it was like my brain was broken. I had writer’s block AND  a reading slump. I finally got around to reading this, and while Hygee is mostly associated with the holiday season I found in this book that it can even be practiced in the summer!

In the summer I take great care to make my balcony a welcoming place to read and write. I have the perfect chair I pick out flowers and decorations, and I feel good. And I found that this is what Hygee is all about. It is making yourself feel good no matter the season.

I had heard of Hygee, and it was big this year, but I was still kinda stumped on what it all about until I read The Cozy Life. In this book, Edberg explains that the Danish have long winter nights so instead of getting all sad and moping and loading up on fake sunshine supplements from tanning beds (don’t judge and don’t lecture) and pills, they make the best of what could be a fucking depressing situation. I mean 14 hours of darkness, my ass would be moving. The people that have to deal with the long nights they do it by lighting candles and have soft fluffy blankets and all the cozy stuff and hang out with friends and cook good food and just generally have a good time. It SOUNDS fun, but I still would go insane with 14 hours of darkness. Hygee or not.

If you are looking for a more in-depth view of hygee and how to incorporate it into your everyday life, then you should read this book. I got some great ideas. I am not too fond of candles since I am paranoid I am gonna burn the apartment building down, so I thought why not give essential oils a try. So I am gonna order me some oils and get some fluffy blankets and be all cozy. Even reading this book it made me feel good.

This is a book that will inspire you to live the hygee lifestyle. I now want to experience a deeper relationship with my friends and the people around me. This book is like a warm hug, so I urge you to pick it up!

five-stars
Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Bookworm Confessions: I Bow Out of Events So I Can Stay Home and Read

Posted April 13, 2017 by Hillary in Bookworm Confessions / 2 Comments

I bow out of events so i CAN STAY HOME AND READ

I will admit it. I am not always busy when I say I am. Many times I just want to stay home and read the book I am in the middle of. There is nowhere I rather be than curled up in my recliner with good wine and some paleo snacks are reading the night away.

I know that I am human, and humans need interactions, but seriously sometimes humanity is a way too much for me to handle. Admit it; you have felt the same way. You look at the news, or some drama breaks out, and you just want to hide in your hidey hole until either the end times comes or humanity has regained its senses.

So yes I am guilty of saying I need to stay home to write when I just want to read whatever book I just got from NetGalley.

I love that I can use books to escape. When I read a book, I feel as if I am in that world that the author has created, and I know that sooner or later all the problems will be solved.  All tied up neatly.  Most of the time. Some books leave you with the feeling of WTF but MOST times there will be a sort of happy ending.

People may think that reading is a waste of time but studies show that reading can help you develop empathy and compassion among other things. It can also give you a different frame of looking at issues you may have in real life. I know that I have had problems and after reading a book I felt relief that I am not the only one. I feel that if the author could dream it up, it HAS to have happened to someone somewhere. Even in fantasy and sci-fi, you can see behavior that occurs in real life, and you can get a different perspective. Like in Ringworld the girl leaves the dude for another guy. The world the author created was complete fantasy, but the ACTIONS were something that has happened to millions of people everywhere. You get dumped and wonder why. A million thoughts run through your head.  You wonder why that dude just disappears or that girl runs off with another dude. We see why in Ringworld and in some way to ME it is comforting to know that even people in space gets dumped, that means no one is immune and I take comfort in that.

 

I felt bad about lying to people and needing my alone time until I read Quiet. That is one book that has changed how I view myself. I know now that I am an extreme introvert, and I even have the anxiety to go along with it BUT I AM NOT ALONE. That in itself was so comforting to know. Once I knew myself and that I am the way I am and that I am not the only one I have become proactive in telling people I need my alone time. Most are understanding. I am a semi-hermit but some people nag me to get out more and before I would give in and take an extra Neurontin to help my anxiety but now I know tat I am not the only one so I stand my ground.

So what about you do you tell people you are busy when all you want to so is to stay home on the couch in your PJ’s on the couch with a glass of wine and a good book?  Any more semi-hermits out there????

 

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Book Review: Unf*ck Your Habitat: You’re Better Than Your Mess by Rachel Hoffman

Posted April 12, 2017 by Hillary in Book Reviews / 4 Comments

ISBN: 9781250102959
Book Review: Unf*ck Your Habitat: You’re Better Than Your Mess by Rachel HoffmanUnf*ck Your Habitat by Rachel Hoffman
Published by Macmillan on January 3rd 2017
Genres: House & Home, Self-Help, Motivational & Inspirational
Pages: 224
Source: library
Buy on Amazon
Goodreads
five-stars

Finally, a housekeeping and organizational system developed for those of us who'd describe our current living situation as a “f*cking mess” that we're desperate to fix. Unf*ck Your Habitat is for anyone who has been left behind by traditional aspirational systems. The ones that ignore single people with full-time jobs; people without kids but living with roommates; and people with mental illnesses or physical limitations. Most organizational books are aimed at traditional homemakers, DIYers, and people who seem to have unimaginable amounts of free time. They assume we all iron our sheets, have linen napkins to match our table runners, and can keep plants alive for longer than a week. Basically, they ignore most of us living here in the real world.
Interspersed with lists and challenges, this practical, no-nonsense advice relies on a 20/10 system (20 minutes of cleaning followed by a 10-minute break; no marathon cleaning allowed) to help you develop lifelong habits. It motivates you to embrace a new lifestyle in manageable sections so you can actually start applying the tactics as you progress. For everyone stuck between The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Adulting, this philosophy is decidedly more realistic than aspirational, but the goal is the same: not everyone will have a showcase of a home, but whatever your habitat, you deserve for it to bring you happiness, not stress.

This is a book that felt like it was written just for me. I admit it. I am a slob. However, my relationship with the Elf Prince has taken a serious turn, and I guess he expects the house that we will live in in the future to be reasonably clean. SO TIME TO GET MY ASS IN GEAR.

What I like about this book is that even though the author does have some nice talk moments most of the time it s advice like “ya gotta get off your ass” “it is gonna suck, no one likes cleaning” somehow hearing that cleaning sucks but that I DO deserve to live in a clean environment, so I just need to get up off my ass and do some 20/10’s.

The 20/10 is my favorite thing I have read out of all my cleaning books. I used to do the infamous marathon cleaning and let me tell you it has NEVER worked out well and it NEVER will. So I read to do what you can in 20 minutes and then take a ten-minute break. I downloaded the app onto my phone and made a list of all the shit I need to do and got my ass in gear and did some 20/10 and guess what my apt is now passably clean after only three days. I feel so proud.

She also gives the exact kind of pep talk that people like me need. Yes, Hillary, You have bipolar, and some days you won’t be able to get out of bed. That’s OK but the days when you feel fine to GET UP OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOME 20/10’S!!! That kinda talk just fires me up. I know some people wouldn’t take kindly to the harshness of it, but for me, if you start me down the road to self-pity I will go down that path and never find my way back. I cant afford to do that, so I like the people that scream at me that all I need to do it to get off my damn ass and do some 20/10’s. Go to the Gym and even if you only walked ten mins that are better than sitting on my ass. Get up take a shower and put on clean PJ’s. Some day the gym and showering and putting on clean pj’s then going back to bed are all I can do, BUT I GOT OFF MY ASS. So see this is why I feel this book was written just for me.

I admit I was so inspired I bought the audio version to listen to while I clean. Hearing gets up off your ass, and all of that does pump some much-needed motivation in me.

Like I said I downloaded the app in the app store and made a list of all I need to get done and it will keep time for you. You push start and do everything you can in 20 mins then take a ten min break then work and break until u start to feel tired or antsy.

I am the ultimate slob, but this book has given me the tools and the mojo to unfuck my apt. Click To Tweet

I am gonna be honest most of my cleaning fears are because when I tried to help my mom when I was small, she would yell and scream at me for not doing it perfectly, so I quit. I DO have negative emotions tied to cleaning, and the book even addresses that. I was pleased. I was even more pleased with her suggestion you do 5 20/10? TREAT YO SELF! Go to the bookstore or get a massage or something. You gotta retrain your brain to like cleaning. I took it a step father and went and got some Mrs. Meyers stuff cause it all smalled like lavender. It cost a shitload in the health food store but I am going to try  Grove Collaborative         I will let y’all know how it goes.

No matter WHY you are a slob she addresses various reasons AND gives ways to get past the block and to get your house in order because the author is right, you DESERVE to live in a  clean environment, and you are better than your mess so buy this book and join me as we work to put out houses together!

five-stars
Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Guest Book Review: The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works” by Suzanne Venker

Posted April 11, 2017 by Hillary in Book Reviews / 0 Comments

ISBN: 9781618688446
Guest Book Review: The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works” by Suzanne VenkerThe Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage by Suzanne Venker
Published by Simon and Schuster on February 14th 2017
Genres: Family & Relationships, Love & Romance, Marriage & Long-Term Relationships, Self-Help, General
Pages: 176
Goodreads

As seen on Fox & Friends
The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage shows women who have a dominating personality how to love a man.
America is in love with the alpha female. She’s the quintessential modern woman—assertive, razor sharp, and fully in control. Her success in the marketplace is undeniable, a downright boon to society. But what happens when the alpha female gets married?
She becomes an alpha wife, of course.
An alpha wife is in charge of everything and everyone. She is, quite simply, the Boss. The problem is, no man wants a boss for a wife. That type of relationship may work for a spell, but it will eventually come crashing down. Since 1970, just as women became more and more powerful outside the home—more alpha—the divorce rate has quadrupled. And it is women who lead the charge. Today, 70% of divorce is initiated by wives.
Do men just make lousy husbands? Not at that rate, says Suzanne Venker, bestselling author of The War on Men. The truth is that women don’t know how to be wives. Why would they? That’s not what they were raised to become.
But women can learn. There’s an art to loving a man, says Venker, and any woman can master it. An alpha female herself, Venker learned how to be a wife the hard way—through trial and error. Lots of error. And here’s what she knows today—the set of skills a woman needs to pursue a career, or even to raise children, is the exact set of skills that will mess up her marriage but good. No man likes to be told what to do. And no woman respects the man who does.
The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage gives women who are used to being in charge the tools they need to make their marriages less competitive and more complementary. Part memoir, part advice, this brave manifesto argues that while marriage is more challenging for the alpha female, it is possible to find peace in your marriage. In fact, it may be easier than you think.

The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works” by Suzanne Venker was just the book I needed. Being a newlywed and an alpha female myself, it was helpful to read this before I went too far down the wrong marriage path and made the same mistakes that the author did! A few points that stuck out and resonated with me were:

 

 

  1. “People who lack the ability to trust compensate by taking control.” I have had trust issues ever since my boyfriend back in freshman year of high school slept with my older brother’s ex-girlfriend and the whole school knew about it except for me. I wish it didn’t affect me the way it had, but it was during a really formative time in my life and I decided then and there that I would never again be the “stupid girl”. So I hardened my heart and I guess decided to become an ‘alpha female’ so that I wouldn’t get hurt again which has correlated to not wanting to be vulnerable in relationships and taking control when I can’t trust.
  2. Another point Suzanne made was that “no relationship can last if one person is mentally preparing to get burned by the other” and that is what made me decide to change my mindset about my husband, instead of constantly trying to protect myself, I decided that we are in this together have started to be completely vulnerable in trusting him. And honestly he hasn’t given me even a millimeter of a doubt not to, so it is about time (after 6 years of being together)!
  3. “Your attitude is the single most important determiner of your success in life and marriage.” I thought this was quite extreme but honestly quite surprisingly true. Once I mentally let go of my distrust, life has become so much easier because my mind is a lot calmer, not constantly trying to find something wrong. What I used to believe was if I found out about something before it happened, I would hurt less, but even saying that aloud now sounds kind of silly. It is better to trust first until proven wrong than the other way around.
  4. “Ironically the deepest need of the wife, to feel loved, is undermined by her disrespect.” This stuck out to me because of how true it was for me in the early days while we were still dating, in order to prove that I was in charge, I would make snarky remarks or tease him in front of my family and his friends, without realizing that it was causing a rift between us. It wasn’t until he wanted to break up with me and my family started pointing my bad habits out that I decided I needed to control my tongue and start being nicer because no one wants to love someone who is mean all the time!
  5. “Be easy to please and you will be easy to love.” When I read that I was like, yea right I am going to be easy – he needs to earn my love! But Suzanne makes a good point; first off, I am already married so honestly he shouldn’t need to be constantly pursuing me, but also who wants to feel that they need to be on presentation mode all the time? She connects this way of thinking with the American culture that “easy women” aren’t the ideal. This may be true outside of marriage but once you are married it is a whole different situation.
  6. “Culture elevates women in not changing themselves, but that is ridiculous because you need to improve.” No one should change themselves for a man, but once you have decided on a man and in order to constantly be growing in the same direction, one must change! When I first met my husband we were in college, now we are both in the working world and completely different people than we were just 6 years ago. If we didn’t grow and adapt to each other, we probably wouldn’t still be together.
  7. “In the same way women release while talking, men release sexually.” I thought this was an extremely interesting point that isn’t often talked about! If my husband wasn’t around to listen to me and talk to me, I know I would go crazy and have all these pent up feelings, so to relate talking to sex is very interesting to me because I have a tangible way of understanding how he would feel if I were ever to “hold sex” against him or use it as a weapon!

 

Suzanne made lots of other interesting points in her book, which you will have to read for yourself to find out what you relate to most. Overall, it was a very easy and eye-opening read for me, partly because I agreed on a lot of her points, but also it was packed full of useful and actionable items. Definitely learned a lot from it and will be implementing these new insights in my marriage life!

I recently featured Suzanne Venker on my blog, Ladybossblogger.com, a blog that highlights female entrepreneurs via interviews – please check out her interview by clicking here.

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Posted April 9, 2017 by Hillary in Sunday Salon / 1 Comment

 

The Sunday Salon

On Friday I made an important discovery. I discovered that I could listen to podcasts while doing other stuff…like cleaning. Before I had to sit down and focus but now I can clean while firing up my faves (so far) podcast!

Speaking of fave podcasts have any y’all heard S-Town yet? I listened to all seven episodes on Friday. The Dr had to ask me to please pause the podcast until after the appointment was done. THAT was how enthralled I was with it. I hadn’t heard Serial because that was before I had my implant, so I have no idea about that one yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to listen to it now.

I had pre-op on Friday where they asked me a bunch of questions to which all the answers was no, no, no, o they said I passed the physical for the surgery. I will be getting my second CI  on the 17th. The Dr says since I did so well with the first one they expect the second one to do as well.

I had to take a break from the gym as I pulled the ligament in the bottom of my foot while running. I did not even think that was possiv=ble. Yes, it hurt and my friend forced me to go to the DR where they told me. They said the only cure was rest SO rest I did. It feels all better now, so I am going to try to go gym tomorrow.

I think my reading slump is going away. I hope… I have been listening to audiobooks. Audiobooks used to frustrate the hell out of me. Now though like with podcasts I can listen while cleaning.  I have been listening to audiobooks that I have already read in print but now I am branching out to books I haven’t read in print yet. Speaking of audiobooks, why do some people insist on playing music in the background? I mean if I wanted to listen to a song I would fire up my Spotify. I was listening to Anne Lamont Stitches, and there is what I think is organ music in the background, and it irritates me.

When you read this, I will be in church. That’s right I got my sorry behind back to church. My faith used to be a big part of who I was and I sort of think that the mild unease that has been an undercurrent in my life is due to me not putting my faith up front and center as I should. So I called my friend, and I can’t wait to see everyone’s faces when I show up.

Later when I get home, I am going to read The Cozy Life. I know it is spring, but we can be cozy in the summer also, right? I hope so. I meant to read it waaaayyyyy back but reading slump. I am glad THAT seems to be ending.

 

 

Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!

Review: Ringworld (Ringworld #1) by Larry Niven

Posted April 7, 2017 by Hillary in Book Reviews / 1 Comment

ISBN: 9780575077027
Review: Ringworld (Ringworld #1) by Larry NivenRingworld by Larry Niven
Published by Gollancz on 2005
Pages: 288
Format: Paperback
Source: own
Buy on Amazon
Goodreads
four-stars

Pierson's puppeteers, strange, three-legged, two-headed aliens, have discovered an immense structure in a hitherto unexplored part of the universe. Frightened of meeting the builders of such a structure, the puppeteers set about assembling a team consisting of two humans, a puppeteer and a kzin, an alien not unlike an eight-foot-tall, red-furred cat, to explore it. The artefact is a vast circular ribbon of matter, some 180 million miles across, with a sun at its centre - the Ringworld. But the expedition goes disastrously wrong when the ship crashlands and its motley crew faces a trek across thousands of miles of the Ringworld's surface.

I remember this was one of my most favorite books in high school. However, at 36 I was just like meh. I mean it is a good book, and it is a great model for newer Sci-Fi, but It just didn’t hold my attention like it used to. I think part of the reason that I was so meh about this book was that I had the plot of a different book confused with this one and unless I am confusing Ringworld with Ben Bova’s Mars I have no I idea what that book could be. So when I got to the end, and it was not the book I thought it was well.I was unnaturally angry. Heh.

If I was to judge the book based on its own merits, then it is just an ok book. The plot was….there is not a lot happening plot wise. I was bored most of the time until I got to the end THEN I loved it. The last 20 pages were outstanding. Does it make up for the rest of the book? It stopped me from giving it a three and instead Give it a 4. I DO want to read the other Ringworld books cause I am dying to know about the Ringworld Civilization.  I just hope the other books are faster paced. I can’t take much more details of flying on and on and on. Ughh.

This is considered a sci-fi classic, and many later themes in sci-fi were based on Ringworld. So it is an important book. I feel that we can hold a book up and say it is important but still think it is crap personally. I am glad that Nevin was able to make such a mark on modern sci-fi. Word of caution though, I read that a lot of feminist take issue with his books cause the women characters are one dimensional. Personally, this fails to bother me. I mean I read the Gor Saga so it is not like I can tell people how much I love Gor and then turn around and be all like well the ladies in Ringworld lacked a personality. They DO, but I feel that those people are missing the point. Teela was a product of the Birth RIight Lotteries, and the other lady doesn’t even show up until the last 20 pages, so not a lot of room to develop her. I haven’t read the other books, so I cant say if they make an appearance there or not but for THIS book I get what the author was doing.  But if you are the type to shy away because of what an author believes or behavior then well….This book will piss you off. ..For the others out there I would say it depends on how much you like hard sci-fi. If you like it then read it but if you don’t then stay far away from this book. If you are fascinated with space and aliens and such then there is enough to get you through to the good part and believe me this book can be tedious at times.

 

 

four-stars
Rating Report
Plot
four-stars
Characters
five-stars
Writing
five-stars
Pacing
three-half-stars
Cover
five-stars
Overall: four-half-stars
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Hillary

About Hillary

I am a book lover who loves to read and write. I only leave my apartment for food and MOAR books. I love to meet new people online so don't be afraid to say hi!