Category: life

What Self Care Means to Me Right Now

Posted September 20, 2017 by Hillary in life / 0 Comments

Getting enough quality Sleep

This is very very very important. Before I tried to do ALL THE THINGS and sacrificed sleep. Even if I were up till 2 am my ass would still hit the gym at 5 am and work out for an hour and come back and start my day all over on three hours of sleep. Then one day I had a Cochlear Ear Implant check-up test thingie to make sure my balance was not damaged before they would put the second one in. I woke up at 5 am worked out and showered at the gym and met my friend who drove me to the hospital. It was a three-hour test, and a mall was RIGHT across the street, so my friend let me out at the hospital and went to the mall. I got called in, and during the test, I could not stay awake for the life of me. I kept falling asleep. I keep remembering when Arina  Huffington told her story in Sleep  Revolution she passed out, and the Dr finally told her she had passed out from her exhaustion. I  was all like shit; it is happening to ME. I mean I would go to sleep during the test, and the Dr would shake me, and I would awaken then I would go back to sleep. Finally, the Dr asked me when the last time I slept was, and I admitted my schedule to her, and she was like you have exhaustion. You need some sleep girl. I finally managed to finish the dang test (my balance was excellent no damage at all)  I got in my friend’s car and passed out. We arrived my apartment my friend had to HELP me to my apartment, and I went straight to bed and slept for three days. It took me weeks to fully recover. Never again. Now I have strict office hours where I write. I use Freedom as an internet blocker on a schedule, so I am forced to write during my most creative time from 1 pm to 6 pm. That time is sacred. I go to bed at 10 pm no ifs and or buts. I even have a sleep routine. I take a Melatonin at 9 pm start diffusing lavender and read a PAPER BOOK. No electronic glare. That’s right no phone, computer or anything after 9 pm. Usually, I am sound asleep at 10 pm. At the moment I have the dewdrop diffuser which only runs 4 hours. I am going to buy the Desert Diffuser which runs for 10 hours so I won’t wake up at 2 or three o’clock. I try and sleep until 6 am some days I even try to stretch it to 8 am. I am no longer one of those machos I go to the gym at 5 am and blah blah. I wake up get caffeinated THEN I go to the gym. I do not have a set time. As long as I get my workout in first thing my day usually goes well.

 

Using Essential Oils

I admit I used to be one of those people who made fun of individuals who tried essential oils. Then one of my favorite bloggers Modern Mrs. Darcy talked about trying them then I saw that Kris Carr recommended them and when I saw on Instagram that Danielle LaPorte herself was using essential oils I know I had to give them a try. I know many people who used Young Living swore by their products. I mean it was like my friends one by one had tried young Living and one by one they became die-hard fans. I grew up in central Appalachia so even though I am technically upper middle class now I still get a queasy feeling in my tummy when I spend over 50 dollars on something. I hovered on the buy button, my eyes ignored the puky feeling and pressed down on the buy button on the Young Living website. I can tell you now other than my cleaning lady this is equal to the best money I ever spent. I was shocked the dang oils did help me with my anxiety and getting over the flu. Seriously I was sick as a bitch all last week, and I drank some theives and rubbed purification on my throat in in three days I was all better. The dr told me I had a bad case too and I would be sick for at least two weeks, but nope with thieves and purification, I was back to work in three days. So now I am all like PEOPLE YOU GOTTA TRY Young Living.  I now have what I call my Holy Trinity. They are Steve Benzo of Amazon, Steve Jobs of Apple and now Dr. Gary Young Of Young Living. May God bless hem with the most sacred of blessings in all of the heavens. Amen

 

Surrounding myself with QUALITY friends

I used to judge my self-worth by the number of friends I had. Unfortunately, I had ALOT of Frenemies who were desperate to see me fail. And I did stumble quite a few times before I learned my lesson.  Now I count only a few people as my friends. It is the QUALITY of friends not the number of friends that matter. I only accept people that uplift me and have goals like me and want to uplift me and see me accomplish my goals. I follow Danielle LaPorte advice to keep your heart wide open to people who have shown that they are trustworthy and keep it wide open but keep a fucking fence around it. The people who I know would love to see me fail or stumble I keep on the outside. I will still show them love, but they do not have access to my inner self. I am learning boundaries fairly late in life, but I am learning.

 

September 2017 Goals

Posted September 1, 2017 by Hillary in life / 0 Comments

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Get back on track With Exercising and Weight wATCHERS.

I have to admit that this past month I fell completely off the Weight Watcher wagon. I am not sure why. It seems that the weight comes off sooooo slow but that partly because I was half-assing it before. I gotta get my butt back to meetings and recommit to it cause this weight is also driving me insane. I know I can do it. I want to make these last months of 2017 unforgettable and if i can lose 50 pounds between now and Jan 1 I would be thrilled. So back to meetings and the gym I go.

Get Involved with Booksagram

I meant to do this a while ago but then I got deeply depressed then my apartment was a disaster zone and I had nowhere to take pictures. I was really embarrassed at how my apartment looked and there was no way I was gonna post any pics in my apartment. Now that it is ALMOST spotless I feel confident that I can post some pictures without dying of shame so I am going to get involved with the whole books a gram thingies.

Get back into a daily routine

I don’t just mean a morning routine either. Last year I had a solid routine and I actually got shit done. It involved working out at 5 am and writing in the morning and reading at night and sleep a solid 10 hours. The sleep part I am most looking forward to. I know I need at least 10 hours a night to really feel my best and at the moment I sleep in three-hour spurts. I have some remedies I am testing so I will let you know if they work or not.

Keep up with cleaning schedule

After doing a “crisis cleaning” I got my apartment presentable and now am using the Unfuck your Habitat app to get it in top-notch condition and to keep it that way. I know what they say about messy creatives but honestly, I can’t function in a mess so my apartment and desk need to be kept clean.

Post more consistently

It is said that one of the keys to blog growth is to be consistent with our posting. I know I have been erratic in my posting schedule and I feel that if I could get back into my routines then I would be able to post more consistently so this goal ties in with the get back into a daily routine one.

Post more on Listy

Again this is something that I have meant to do for a while but again depression. I want to explore this app to its fullest potential. Shameless plug I am purplemoonmyst on there.

Post more on Goodreads

You would think that this would be the social network that I am involved with most be Goodreads instead of Facebook.  Facebook was making me angry all the time so I installed a news feed blocker and now just post in groups. My Trump supporting “friends” pissed me off and some others are just plain dumb so to keep the small amount o in real life friends that I have I had to take drastic action. And guess what? My anxiety has gone down some what and my happiness and peace of shot way up.  So I am switching my focus to Goodreads as I have yet to have a book person piss me off to the extent some of my friends have. Another shameless plug I am purplemoonmyst on Goodreads also.

Currently

Posted August 21, 2017 by Hillary in life / 0 Comments

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Loving

my kitten. I know people offline get tired of hearing about the kitten but he brings me so much happiness and joy. I didn’t realize what a big empty hole I had until I got the kitty. He is a little asshole but I still love him!

Hating

My crappy internet connection. I will have to get my mother to call ATT  since  Every Time I try and call using my Veido phone my internet cuts me off.  Technology is supposed to put us on an equal footing but when technology fucks up we are basically SOL and have to rely on other people.

Reading

Get Rich Lucky Bitch. I am so curious now about the manifestation thingie. I have read about it before but THIS book goes into detail HOW to do it. I realize I have money blocks and I am working on clearing them. I wish I could afford to take her boot camp course but alas.  I am paying an arm and a leg for a mastermind so I can’t currently justify spending 500 on a course.

Trying out

A new diet program. Facebook finally convinced me to try NOOM. So far I like it. It tells you exactly what to do to make sure you lose weight and u have a personal coach to talk to. The price is steep but I am getting tired of Weight Watchers and this is all on your phone so no more meetings or any of that. Plus I like when it reminds u of meals times and it tells you u need to take 5,000 steps today. It even hooks up with my Fitbit! I only tried it for a week so we shall see in a month or two how it goes.

Doing

Listing to lots and lots of podcasts! I still can’t believe that I can understand them. I have obly been able to for around three months now so I know I will NEVER get caught up and that makes me sad but I am SO loving being able to just listen to a podcast while I clean or cook.

Working on

making myself a paperless office. I want to be location independent in the near future and if I could just get everything online like contracts I have for my writing and all of that then I could just pack up my laptop and go. I am still working out the kinks though.

Loving

Halo Top Ice Cream!  For someone who is looking to lose over 100 pounds, this is a god send. I can’t believe that it took me so long to try it. I heard about it at a weight watchers meeting and I was skeptical at first. I mean how could a DIET ice cream taste good but everyone was raving about it so I was like fine I will try. One bite and I almost got on my knees to thank the good Lord above for it. Now I can have my ice cream.

Meet Marble Icicle Orlando

Posted July 6, 2017 by Hillary in life / 2 Comments

If you followed me on social media at all you have probably heard me talk about the new Kitten I have. If you haven’t heard or saw him here he is….

Marbles pondering the meaning of life.

A post shared by Adventures In Never Never Land (@adventuresinneverneverland) on

 

It is a funny and sad story of how I got him. His previous owner got him as a therapy cat, but he turned out to be more work than anticipated. There was some frenzy in trying to get him a new home before I heard about him. I had been thinking about getting a new kitten but never actually took steps to acquire one. Then I heard that Marbles was looking for a forever home,  so I volunteered.

 

There is no rhyme or reason for the name Marble Icicle. It is just what popped into my head when I saw him. Various people have looked at me funny when I tell them his name, but when I met him and held him for the first time, Marble Icicle popped into my head, so that is the name that I I went with.

 

He is a very hands-on kitten. He demands to have attention paid to him a LOT. He wants to play all the time which makes blogging and writing hard. I try and type, and he comes and lays on my keyboard and all of that. He also likes to wake me up at three is to play then curl up in my arms for nap.

 

He is also the sweetest little cat. He will rub his face against mine and purr. He also will curl up with me and sleep. He more than does his job as a therapy kitty. When I tell him something, he will even meow back to me.  My previous cat who crossed the rainbow bridge six years ago was an asshole, so it is nice to have a more “typical” kitty.

 

Overall he is a precious little kitty, and I am glad to have found him. I feel that he has abandonment issues when his previous owner gave him up cause when new people come in the apartment, he gets scared. I have tried to show and tell him that he is with me till he crosses the rainbow bridge but I am not sure how to make him not scared when he sees other people. Any suggestions would be welcome!

 

He has helped me out this last week that I have had him he has lifted me out of this funk I find myself in. Well, maybe not ALL the way but he has done more than I thought a kitty would. He makes sure I get out of bed eery morning to fill his bowl with kibbles and to play with him. Without him here by my side who knows I might still be in bed waiting till the end of time.

 

It is funny to think that I almost did not go to the therapy appointment where I heard about him. I was all like I don’t want to shower then get dressed and all of that. In the end, I forced myself to go, and I am glad I did for I got the best thing to happen to me this year!

 

Happy 4th Of July!!!

Posted July 4, 2017 by Hillary in life / 0 Comments

 

I want to wish my American readers a Happy 4th of July! I hope you have a blast eating and watching fireworks! I had an early 4th on the 30th, so I will not be partaking in the traditional fare. A friend and I are doing the Crazy Sexy Diet Vegan Cleanse for the month of July, so I will only be eating plants that are still alive, and maybe I will grill some tofu hotdogs and just eat that minus the bun as I am also avoiding gluten.

via GIPHY

 

I hope That everyone has a happy 4th!!!

 

July 2017 Life Goals

Posted July 1, 2017 by Hillary in life / 0 Comments

I have hinted at my depression this year on the blog, but I did not mention how deep it went. The last three months have been one of the worst depressions I have had since being diagnosed with bipolar. I am on the mend,

but recovery isn’t just like pop a pill then you are all better. It is a process. You have to fight your way out of the hell hole that is bipolar depression. Click To Tweet

I have also started therapy again. This time it is in connection with my binge eating disorder. I am still Following Weight Watchers, but I do that online to track my food. I go to therapy once a week where I come up with ways to cope with binge eating. I have also started going to the gym again. I was soo scared going for the first time in almost five months, but I did it, and true to its word Planet Fitness IS a judgment free zone! My trainer welcomed me back. Needless to say, I can’t just run a mile and do an HIIT workout like before. Again I have to build up to it.

 

Any good therapist will tell you not to just lay around feeling sorry for yourself. In fact, this blog was started because I had just been diagnosed with Bipolar and the therapist suggested that I engage in a hobby to prevent me from just laying on my bed curled up in the fetal piston waiting for the end of time.

 

I was going over and over in my head how I could ease back into work and stuff. I kept coming back to Tolstoy and the Purple Chair. In this book, the author reads a book a day for a year to grieve for her sister. While a year sounds extreme, I was like I could do that for a month. Then it hit me. Why not read a book a day for a month? That way I could feel like I was doing SOMETHING while still healing from the depths of the darkness I found myself in. So I came up with an idea and a plan for next month. This is the routine that I will follow every day, except Sundays when I go to church.

 

  • Get up
  • Get caffeinated
  • Hit the gym
  • Come home shower
  • Put on work PJ ( I am still in the can hardly leave my apt phase)
  • Morning Pages
  • Write some blog posts
  • Read a book

 

Also, I will go to ALL therapy and Drs appointments. No rescheduling or canceling like I tend to do.

 

This routine will help me ease back into my old routine. I am BETTER but not completely well yet. I feel that is I follow this it will help me get all the way better so that I can come back strong!

 

I just want to let people know that if you are suffering from bipolar or depression that you are not alone and the sickness won’t last forever. There is hope.

I just want to let people know that if you are suffering from bipolar or depression that you are not alone and the sickness won’t last forever. There is hope. There is always Hope!Click To Tweet

Things I Learned in March 2017

Posted April 5, 2017 by Hillary in life / 0 Comments

The things I learned in March of 2017

I need to exercise to be happy and productive

 I started exercising again because I could feel my depression and anxiety making a comeback. That was a no-no, so I dusted off my gym membership and went back last week. It was BRUTAL. I am amazed at how quickly you can get out of shape. It is too soon for the whole relieving depression effect to set in, but from last year I know that it will, and I can’t wait. Being mildly depressed is no fun.

The world strongest coffee is now available in the US. And yes, I bought a bag. I will let y’all know how it goes.

That I supposedly look better blonde than I do with my natural black hair

here is a picture of me with blonde highlights.
I am getting so many compliments. Some people even told me that I look better blonde than I do with my natural black hair. I can’t help but wonder if I looked ugly with the hair color that God gave me and I just did not know it.

That after a year of tears and frustration I can understand webinars and podcasts

yay!!! And I will get a second implant on April 17th. I am not looking forward to the pain afterward, but I can’t wait to have some good pain killers again. #kiddingnotkidding

That food delivery service is not my cup of tea, but the Blue Apron Wine delivery service is right my alley.

I just find it hard to commit to what they offer. I mean what if I don’t WANT to eat fish? You do get some control but not enough for me to justify the price. The wine from what I have tasted was fabulous, so I am keeping that subscription.

That Hard Apple Cider In the spring is not as good as hard apple cider in the fall.

I was at the food store, and I saw Hard Apple Cider. I love the stuff. I look forward to it every fall. Somehow it did not bring as much pleasure as it does in the autumn season. This is a reminder that some things are better during certain seasons and to leave them there.

Two blogs are better than one

 I joined PursuitHQ and people told me that I should have a personal blog where I write about whatever I want to and a “work” blog, so I created a work blog where I will always remain professional and this here blog where I will write whatever the hell I want to. It feels like a big relief to know that I have a playing space where I can be as creative as I want to be and not worry about scaring potential clients away.

One should always back up their blogs

When I went to make a second blog I need up accidentally deleting this one. Lucky for me Bluehost had made backups. Kinda. The last one was about a year ago, so I lost a whole year worth of posts. *frownyface*  Oh well all my book reviews are on Goodreads at least.You can bet I paid for Vault Press for both my blogs after that.

How I Managed 4 Days in the Wilderness

Posted September 4, 2014 by Hillary in life, ramblings, Uncategorized / 2 Comments

This past Labor Day weekend I went camping. When my family first invited me I was all excited. With four days out in the wilderness I could pretend to be a hermit and gather my thoughts and refill my creative well. I envisioned days of reading,having brilliant ideas and catching up with the family. I knew that there would be no wifi or even phone service at the campground. I thought surely 4 days of being disconnected from the world won’t hurt me. I was very very very mistaken. The first night I had the beginnings of Internet and phone withdrawal. I am the kind of person who always has my phone in my hand most of the time and it is almost always vibrating. That night as it sat strangely silent I felt somewhat discombobulated and hoped nothing important was sitting in my email box.
I woke up the second day and checked my phone out of habit. Of course nothing was there. I decided that I was going to go take pictures and go fishing and all of that stuff. I took my camera and walked around snapping pictures. I was still feeling a little off. I look back now and I am amazed. I mean this is some scenery I was surrounded in:

Deep in da hillz of Kentucky
Deep in the hillz of southeastern Kentucky.

That looks like the perfect place to escape from today’s technology right? In reality I was in a tizzy and I had about thirty minutes of false hope when I discovered my mom’s phone had a hotspot until I realized without 3G service it was worthless.
It also rained two out of the 4 days and I don’t care how fancy an RV is. Being stuck in one while you have NO INTERNET is a living hell. I did read three books, but still, with everyone smushed in around me I was going stir crazy. I felt like that dude in the Shining, instead of snow it was a monster thunderstorm that was keeping me inside. In my journal I even wrote “I am slowly going insane. If someone bumps into me or walks back and forth or anything one more time I just might snap and do something regrettable”. I wasn’t the only one complain though. My cousins kids were really mad when it started to howl and the wind was blowing at top speeds. No internet and stuck in a tiny little RV? NOT A FUN VACATION!
I think the majority of the reason I was so pissed was because this is the first family gathering that I went to where I had lost all of my hearing. My mom is the only one that can sign so every time someone wanted to talk to me we had to go hunt down my mother and she would act as an interpreter. I never realized how much I depended up on my hearing aids until they did not work for me anymore. My speech reading skills have really went downhill. My speech is still clear which is good. I can talk fine but, understanding the other person is a problem. I have gone camping with other Deaf people and enjoyed the hell out of it. Being the only Deaf person in a big group of people? Well that is a somewhat different story. Over all I enjoyed my self enough to want to do it again. Hopefully next time I won’t be in such a tizzy over no Internet and can relax fully and enjoy myself.