July 2017 Life Goals

I have hinted at my depression this year on the blog, but I did not mention how deep it went. The last three months have been one of the worst depressions I have had since being diagnosed with bipolar. I am on the mend,

I have also started therapy again. This time it is in connection with my binge eating disorder. I am still Following Weight Watchers, but I do that online to track my food. I go to therapy once a week where I come up with ways to cope with binge eating. I have also started going to the gym again. I was soo scared going for the first time in almost five months, but I did it, and true to its word Planet Fitness IS a judgment free zone! My trainer welcomed me back. Needless to say, I can’t just run a mile and do an HIIT workout like before. Again I have to build up to it.

Any good therapist will tell you not to just lay around feeling sorry for yourself. In fact, this blog was started because I had just been diagnosed with Bipolar and the therapist suggested that I engage in a hobby to prevent me from just laying on my bed curled up in the fetal piston waiting for the end of time.

I was going over and over in my head how I could ease back into work and stuff. I kept coming back to Tolstoy and the Purple Chair. In this book, the author reads a book a day for a year to grieve for her sister. While a year sounds extreme, I was like I could do that for a month. Then it hit me. Why not read a book a day for a month? That way I could feel like I was doing SOMETHING while still healing from the depths of the darkness I found myself in. So I came up with an idea and a plan for next month. This is the routine that I will follow every day, except Sundays when I go to church.

• Get up
• Get caffeinated
• Hit the gym
• Come home shower
• Put on work PJ ( I am still in the can hardly leave my apt phase)
• Morning Pages
• Write some blog posts
• Read a book

Also, I will go to ALL therapy and Drs appointments. No rescheduling or canceling like I tend to do.

This routine will help me ease back into my old routine. I am BETTER but not completely well yet. I feel that is I follow this it will help me get all the way better so that I can come back strong!

I just want to let people know that if you are suffering from bipolar or depression that you are not alone and the sickness won’t last forever. There is hope.